As I sit here, eating a leftover Baby Mum-Mum and drinking warm, flat pop, I can’t help but think: man, I really used to have standards.
First of all, I now buy everything at Walmart, because nothing sucks worse than having to get your kid into and out of the car seat/stroller a zillion times to buy all your groceries/ toiletries/ Christmas gifts…except maybe Walmart produce…
I’ve been a Starbucks junkie since corduroy pants were cool, but there’s no drive-thru location nearby and it can be a pain in the arse to drag the munchkin in. Now, I will drive twice as far to the Tim Hortons (eh?) or McDonalds drive thru just to avoid doing so. And speaking of coffee, everything I order past noon has to be decaf, otherwise I’m dealing with a crazy, jacked-up baby until midnight. Have you tasted a decaf latte? It’s like giving a Canadian a bottle of Bud.
Oh, and don’t forget, you either chug your coffee down while it’s burning hot because you know any second he’s gonna have a meltdown, or he’s already freaking out and your drink is cold by the time you settle him down.
Same goes for food. I used to be able taste food. Now I just shove it down when he lets me, which is usually half an hour after its been served. Nothing says delicious like congealed gravy on cold turkey. Awesome.